A twitch

“He’s just a fidgety kid”

A squeak

“What a funny sneeze”

A bark

Blame it on the dog

A bloody nose

“The air is dry”

Living with

Tourette’s

Felt like living a lie

Every little

tic

Needed an excuse

One stressful day

It was like an

E X P L O S I O N

The lies that hid my tics

Were gone

I couldn't hide anymore

It was my 12th birthday

Most kids have a

“WORST BIRTHDAY EVER”

Where they didn’t get what they wanted

Or the attention wasn’t on them

But for me

My life

undeniably

And

irreversibly

Changed

A year later

I was diagnosed

Tourette’s Syndrome.

It should have been scary

Or felt like a constricting label

But it didn't

As little as I understood

It felt like I could finally breathe

It was the answer I needed

But from then on, after every

Sneeze

Noise

Or

Movement

It felt like an

interrogation

I couldn't breathe

Without the question of why

All I ever heard was

Is that a tic

All day

Every day

Was like a fight with myself

To hide away

The bad parts of Tourette’s

Because

I seem to be

Transphobic

Homophobic

Fat shaming

A womanizer

But really

I’m a knitter

I’m a brother

I’m a hugger

I’m a poet

I am human